Bets And Death
by Punanu
Summary: James Potter and Sirius Black are in heaven...They meet up with Snape, wonder how HE died, and well...It's just random and hopefully amusing.
1. Bets!

A/N: o_o;; I was thinking of how amusing it'd be if this happened.And a note for Voldemort: 'I'M NOT PLASTERED, DAMNIT!" -_-!! Anyway, this only took me half an hour, so ignore the miss-spelling 'n stuff.Oh yes, I deleted this and uploaded for hope of getting all my DOTS back!  
  
"I bet you Peter is next."  
  
"Na, it's gotta be Remus. . . ."  
  
Sirius and James sat crossed legged, floating in midair before a glass ball. Around them was total misty whiteness. Others were floating around aimlessly, doing whatever. Every once in a while you'd see a person screaming, 'I'M NOT DEAD! I'M NOT DEAD!' But, it was quite rarely this happened, for the angels got the crazed ones under control before they set foot before the gates.  
  
"I still think its Peter." James replied.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes, resting his elbows on his knee and looking doubtfully at the ball. "Gots to be Remus, Prongs. The good guys always go down first!" He gave a pitiful look at James.  
  
"But Peter is just asking for it! He practically has 'KILL ME' written on his forehead!" As James said this, he made wild hand gestures.  
  
Sirius paused, pondering this over. "You have a point, but you know. . . Remus. . . Him being a werewolf-"  
  
"JAAAMES POTTER!" A shrill voice met the two marauder's ears.  
  
Sirius winced, James suddenly put on a innocent look.  
  
Lilly Potter came storming over, (gliding really but, if she could, she'd storm.) face masked in annoyance. "You're BETTING on the DEATHS of your FRIENDS, aren't you!?!?"  
  
"Well, ye-"  
  
"No, never EVER we'd do such a thing." Sirius looked fakely shocked, holding a hand to his heart as if wounded.  
  
"Don't give me that, Sirius Orion Black!" She growled, shaking a fist as she glided forward.  
  
"Mind the halo, love!" Sirius cheerfully added.  
  
James laughed a little too hard, uncrossing his crossed legs and floating to his 'beloved' wife. He patted her shoulder lightly. "Now, now . . .we were just fooling around."  
  
"BUT BETTING ON THE DEATHS OF YOUR FRIIIENDS?!"  
  
"Not BETTING, really. We've nothing to bet." Sirius sadly said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his white clothes, pulling the lining of the them out.  
  
"Whatever." Lily lightly hit herself on the forehead, sighing in frustration. "Besides, only the angel of death knows these things."  
  
"Angel . . .of death . . .?" Sirius questioned, eyes glinting.  
  
"I smell the change in the wind, Padfoot buddy!" James grinned madly, rubbing the palms of his hands together as Sirius did the same.  
  
Lily's eye twitched animatedly. "Dear . . . god."  
  
Near by an angel shrieked. "DO NOT USE THE NAME OF GOD IN VEIN!!!"  
  
"Shaaame, Lily dear." Sirius shook his pointer finger.  
  
"I'll show you shame . . . ."Lily said, inching (Well, floating..) closer to the two.  
  
"RUN FOR IT, PADFOOT!" James shrieked, dashing (Floating!) as fast as his, well, whatever HIS, could take him. Padfoot followed in pursuit with a PMSing looking Lily following, her arms flailing.  
  
The two marauders ran (floated.) as fast as they could, zooming in and out of heavenly traffic. The two were randomly cackling, given odd looks by head angels. Some of them wondered, as they listened to the evil cackling and such, if a few demons had broke in somehow. They floated some more.and then a bit more, until Lily lost them in a crowd of 'Jesus loves me' singing.people. Some even grabbed the woman and MADE her sing.  
  
"We've lost 'er, mate." James called, both panting.  
  
"Aye, aye!!" Why were they panting, we'll never know. Is it THAT tiring to float? "I say we visit this . . . angel of death. Where do you think he lives?" Sirius looked around, peering madly. "What a wonderful idea to be able to find out who dies. Do you think Volemort kills Harry?" Sirius asked this insensitively.  
  
James twitched. "Padfoot, I don't think I WANT to KNOW that . . . Anyway," He cleared his throat. "Where do all dead people go?"  
  
"To the bar!"  
  
". . .Where do some of the dead people go?"  
  
Sirius pondered.  
  
"Don't strain yourself."  
  
"Well . . .When I arrived I waited in a line with the other people and a dark figured person-"  
  
"OFF TO FIND THE DARK FIGURED PERSON . . . THING!"  
  
They floated all fast like to where the line stood outside the gates. There stood a dark figure, face consealed by his robes. His posture told them he seemed annoyed and he growled as new-comers inched (Glided!) all afraid looking toward him.  
  
"Yo yo, wuz up homie G dwag!" The marauders called, one on the right side and one on the left of the dark one.  
  
. . . . . . .  
  
"What . . . .do . . . .YOU TWO. . . .want..?" Hissed the figure.  
  
"That hiss . . .seems familiar." Sirius gazed at the figure up and down.  
  
Figure twitched.  
  
"Do we know you?" James asked, eyeing she/he/it.  
  
Then the figure sighed, tugging off his hood. The two gasped! . . . . and then gasped some more! Both looked as if they were going to have a heart attack any moment. There stood the dark haired Snape, glaring that . . . Snape like glare.  
  
"WHEN DID YOOOOU DIE!!??" Gasped Padfoot, having over the shocked faze, was doubling over, laughing. New-comers gave him frighten looks. Was this hell?  
  
James was laughing so hard he couldn't even question Severus.  
  
Severus closed his eyes and twitched again, face flushing red from rage. His hands were clenched and he waited for the two to shut their mouths.  
  
10 minutes later, the two marauders stopped.  
  
"So . . . How DID you die?" James asked, holding back the urge to laugh all over again.  
  
"..."  
  
Sirius smirked and opened his mouth to say something.  
  
"I AM NOT CHICKEN, SIRIUS ORION BLACK! MORON! . . .It . . . was an accident."  
  
"Did Harry accidently pour some deathly poison on ye?" James looked curious, not at all sarcastic.  
  
". . . Rat poison."  
  
All three twitched.  
  
"Rat poison." Sirius repeated.  
  
"Yes . . . rat poison.."  
  
"How the bloody hell did you die of RAT poison!? Were you scuddling around the halls and got trapped in one of those glue thingies!?!"  
  
Snape looked fit to kill. "I THOUGHT IT WAS AN INGREDIENT TO A POSION! So I put it in and drunk it. . . and. . ." (Do de do . . . Wonder what the potion was for! *Cough.* )  
  
". . .You died." Both marauders finished.  
  
"And here I thought Peter'd die kinda like that." Sirius piped cheerfully.  
  
"Wanna know WHY they call me the Angel of DEATH!!!??" Snape screamed.  
  
A/N: Yes, well..That was fun and it only took me half an hour! Woho, anyway. I hope this is amusing enough for you. Remember, it's for HUMOR so don't flame me about god 'n stuff..o_O;;! Btw . . . Ignore Ed. X); 


	2. Sev 'n James! XD

A/N: Ooo, I'm so mad! Stupid idiot insulted my poor friend Cleo's story. Note: I hate flames. Writers should respect everyone's work. If you do, then you suck dead donkeh! *Flare, flare * Anyway, *Mood swing. * I was bored during math class and wrote dis. James insisted I put yaoi in it. So.I did. Because James asked.Yep. Oh, sorry for the miss spellings. I suck, I know . . . uu;;  
  
Disclaimer: I FORGOT TO PUT THIS UP!! I don't own anything but my clothes. My underwear belong to my goldfish!  
  
" 'tis Peter."  
  
"No! It's Remus! The good guys are always first!"  
  
"Shut up, Black! Rat boy has it coming to him!"  
  
Severus, Sirius (Ever wonder why their names are so similar?) and James floated aimlessly once again around the cirular.ball thingy, which displayed the happenings in the living world. Hopefully, not ALL of the happenings. (*Cough.*) Severus' mishap, scaring the hell out of the newcomers, caused him to loose the job he had. He didn't care, he was only in it for the dentil plan.  
  
"I wonder WHY you're so friendly with James, Senv." Sirius purred.  
  
James and Severus both flailed their amrs mindlessly. "I don't know WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BLACK!" Snape shrieked. James was too busy flushing like a tomato and yelling denials to even comprehend what was happening.  
  
"IT'S TRUE! You loff him!" Sirius cackled. "You wanna HOLD him! You wanna SNOGG him! You wanna KISS him! You wanna FUC-" Sirius was cut off by a flying halo.  
  
"Don't make me bring up RENNEH-POOOOO!" Wailed James, suddenly over his mini-tantrum. (I'm so innocent. X3;; )  
  
Sirius gasped. "You wouldn't DARE!"  
  
"I double DOG dare, Sirius Black!" ( The horror..)  
  
Snape was calculating. Who was this. Renneh-poo?  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . Long pause.  
  
"Fiiiine!" Padfoot muttered.  
  
"I understand now!"  
  
"You're so smart, Severus." Fluttered Prongs. (Ooc . . . Heh. )  
  
Severus grinned like a maniac, his chest puffed out resembling a kinky pigion. ( . . . Where did THAT come from!?) He cleared his throat, brushed a dark lock from his face and striked a pose. "Yes. . . . .I know."  
  
"You two make me sick." Padfoot hissed. "It's like watching Lockhart and a fan-girl. . . . . .boy, really."  
  
"Mocoonaa!" Snape whooped. (I yelped that quite loudly in math class for no reason. )  
  
"What the fuck was that all about?!" Odd stare from both Marauders.  
  
"Sudden urge." Snape answered stiffly.  
  
"You have those too?" James sobbed, clasping Severus hands in his. Sparkliness! Opera music in playing softly in back ground. . . .  
  
"Yes. . . .they thought I was weird when I was young! Once I ran around the Slytherin common room in my bat man underwear!" Wailed Snape.  
  
"You poor thing! I'm so sorry for making fun of you in school!"  
  
"FRINED!" Glomp.  
  
"BOYFRIIIEND!" Cling.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . (Think they'll notice.?)  
  
Music playing, sparkliness glitter.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . .  
  
"What did you say?" Severus asked almost causally.  
  
"Oh, nothing!" Smile, smile.  
  
Slowly both Severus and James looked around. Sirius sat floating, legs crossed infront of him, popcorn bag in his lap. "I just couldn't ruin the moment, could I? What a loveleh couple. . . . but really, what would Lily think?" Snigger.  
  
Twitch, twitch. . . . .  
  
A/N: .__.;; I couldn't help myself. There is no plot! No point! *Sigh. * AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHO RENNEH-POO IS!! MWAAAH! *Dash. * 


End file.
